Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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