My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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