i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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