at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
