i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
