So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
