Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You ruined the universe
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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