Where is the hickey?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
