i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
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