We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
