the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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