I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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