I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I think my fart just growled at me.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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