If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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