the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
