I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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