Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
