Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
