he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
This is the high leading the old right now
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
