how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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