I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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