Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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