I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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