Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
