I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
