I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
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