listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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