Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
