my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
