I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
50% drunk capacity currently
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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