Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
