You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
it's great music for shaving your balls
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
