I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
