Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
