This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
