rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
