Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
