Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
