Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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