this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
you had me at cake vodka
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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