Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
