thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
