I wannas sexs uuuuu
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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