she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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