Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
