i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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