You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
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