In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
