there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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