This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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