I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
that may or may not have been my penis.
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