Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
