Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Just high enough for therapy.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
